down

feeling down, feeling a bit lost. I can't control my mood or thoughts. I'm trapped under the ice. Screaming out for someone real. For someone to love me. For me to love myself. It's not working, my lungs can't handle the screaming. My breaths grow short. The effort dwindles. So this is it? This is all I've got surrounding me? Fake people, people I've grown apart from, people that don't establish connections with me. And this is why I hate myself most of the time, no one wants me no one wants to get to know no one cares. So, maybe I need to start caring? Is that a solution? Not sure. I just cannot stand this infinity of helplessness anymore. Who, what, am I? Why?