Mar 27, 2009

Hey, I'm Writing

~Come to me.
I am sick of searching, and I am sick of being let down. I count on these people, but there not counting back. I spit, 'One, two, three, four' they give me back, 'Six, twelve, nine, five'. Its not what I want, you aren't listening to me. My ears are wide open for your words. My mouth seems glued shut sometimes. But my eyes are wide with voice. So much has been on my mind, I seem to get lost in it all. I feel like its time to make changes, but I always say that. I have to sort you, filter, and retreive what I want.
You say do what makes you happy. But, for some reason, I don't know how to do that. I make myself happy, but then the people around me are unsatisfied. To see the ones I care about in an upset state of mind, it triggers me to do something. I can't do as I please if you are not going to be happy about it. I am too scared to take such a big step for myself, to finally branch out.
Bonds last forever, no matter how many new friends you gain or lose, no matter how many mistakes were made, or words said or actions taken place. I want old bonds back. I want them to see me as how I was, and how I am. Its not cool, take a glance at me now and think of how I changed. Truth is, I haven't changed one bit. I miss these old friends, I wish my old mind set, and my goals.

I want to be independent with or without you. I want to strive to be the person I want to be. I am lost, the world passes at me so fast, what should I grab for? What is it, what is it that I really want?

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