Nov 12, 2009

And I thought

that through the 'sea of fingers, I'd find my own real life'
And its true, maybe from all the negativity I am consumed with each day,
I can be rational and truly find who I am capable of becoming.
I can trash the things I don't want, and recycle the things
that I always want to be there.
Everything has to be complicated intertwined with emotions,
and walls, and barriers and sap, because we are humans
and I wish it didn't have to be that way sometimes.
I think of myself as a Robot often, I'm different.
I probably won't cry if you cry, I probably won't care,
I probably am not going to like you for different reasons as everyone else,
I probably am going to like you for different reasons then anyone else,
and I'm going to see you for who you are,
and that's not necessarily a good/bad thing

I wonder what it would be like to completely eliminate one aspect of your life
how would it be, how would everything change?
Would I be happy?
Would you?

I want power, and confidence, and I want to be genuine and not let the silly things get in my way, but everyday there They stand right on the tip of my nose screaming for attention because they are so little, and they are so Weak. I can't make them feel good, or bigger, they have to feel it for themselves.

I can't have this negativity follow me through the halls and have this bad judgment become of me for being who I am, I have never done anything wrong to anyone to deserve the little things. It's not fair, it's not fair at all.

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