Dec 24, 2009

'lost in a sea of focus'

Going crazy, reading words and I become them, I want to become someone, something else then what I am. I feel like my head is pounding, I feel lonely in this household set by the lake, I can hear Lake Michigan crashing against the shore and the wind screaming through the trees.

The puddles soak into my boots and all of me becomes numb this christmas eve, there is no sadness no happiness. The cigarettes aren't my friends, they make my mind run, run too fast for my body to keep up.

My bank account seems to be running low, my work hours are diminishing, is money the only thing that matters? My lungs seem to work to fast, my head aches, are cigarrettes keeping me sane anymore, whats the point? The alcohol is a bore, the parties lead to nothing but regrets, and I'm not sure what it is im wanting.

I need to find a way out, I need to find something to keep me in a line, to remain steady and normal. Normal, yes, normal is what I need, because this abnormality keeps striking me and my heart is drowned in the deep end, and something is taking it down in a choke hold.........

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