Jan 4, 2010


Okay I am going to start this off a little weird,
...Tonight a piece of zucchini bounced off my forehead as the Hibachi chef prepared our meal.
It was fun, I actually was genuinely laughing, happy to be there at that moment...
It was weird, I felt like I was being noticed, I am not sure if I like that feeling,
well, I think I do only sometimes, but sometimes it just bugs me, it makes me feel 'finicky',
is that even a word? finicky? Well I am just throwing it out there....

I wrote in my journal last night.
I think it released a lot of emotions from me, I filled up three pages, it was so nice.

One more thing: My other blog had said that "I am sick of chasing temporary happiness because it doesn't bring me joyfullness sober, I am fucking sick, Completely with everything in my life because I am not satisfied with who I am at this point or the descisions I make because I am dependent and I am vulnerable and I am just a shitty person who is lost because she grew up to fast and she misses and wants what she can't have "

From that, I would like to say, I am fine, I think that was just a mild freak out on my part. I think my decisions are normal, I like who I AM, and I am free to choose my friends and the people that surround me, and I can be Independent. I think I was just feeling sorry for myself, because sometimes I don't know how to be the Bigger person and Say something about something about something....

I love my life. I love everything.

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