Jan 8, 2010

"no one knows how I have felt"

I thought my eyes were dried up like Canyons you would see in Arizona due to the prepubescent tears of my teenage fuck ups years ago that really don't fucking matter anymore, but tonight a form of precipitation that only falls when a deep lump clutches to the inner wall of your throat, fell down sliding onto my hidden cheek bones/
\its weird timing when everything seems alright, but in the back of your head you tell yourself it could be better, your only picking out the worst in everything (and you really do), and then something really bad happens like you got shot in the face and a hole is created and it takes time for that hole to heal again/
\maybe the hole is made from Your certain situation with friends/boyfriend/girlfriend/parent/work. Whatever. But that pain seems unbearable and it leaves you motionless, and time stands still for just a moment as you take a step back and examine your life and your decisions as a human.

Stop sticking your nose up, stop hiding behind your layers of clothing, stop batting your eyelashes, and stop crying all the damn time, JUST STOP! I am on a fucking mission, and that is to complete my life with a whole spectrum filled with happiness, and experimentalness(?), and kindness, and decisiveness, and opinions, and hobbies, and projects, and motivation, and love. OH! and Inspirations\

//Sometimes I hate that word. Love. Love. Love. Its so used out of context sometimes. Everyone has their own connotation for it I suppose. But, I will save that for another blog sometime soon.//

But, to clear this blog up, and to give you the reason why I wrote this, I cried for the first time in like forever tonight, and it was about personal reasons I do not wish to discuss at this time, but, I wanted to let you all know Life is a beautiful and precious thing that you can never get back so why not do something worthwhile and stop trying to be someone you are not, just live happily, live safely, live proudly..

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