in ten minutes I will be seventeen
what the fuck? Where did my life go?
I remember when I was four visiting my mom at her old apartment. I remember my old house, the time my brother threw our cat Lucky at my face, leaving a scar on me. Playing in our yard that always looked like it stretched for miles. I remember how close I was with my cousins, making home videos, forts, bouncing on trampolines, playing in sprinklers, lighting fireworks. I remember moving in to our house we have now. I remember middle school, when everyone was friends. Growing up, things change. Eighth grade I was trying to find a way to be cool, trying to fit in with a social scene that was unusual for me. changing the way I dressed and acted and my morals. The kids I was friends with then, well, they never seem to change.
Highschool hit me hard. I was pumped and ready. Then, after a while, you get used to it, its a bunch of bullshit. its easy to slide right through, and the days seem to be always the same.
Seeing myself and looking at my past, I have changed in so many ways I could only explain them if you asked. this new age and new year it will bring, I want to truly find steady friends, I do not want to stand or tolerate you if you don't have any sort of gain for me, I do not need you then. This is my life I am finally figuring out. I am me. I dress a certain way, write a certain way, dream a certain way, and my past is a certain way.
There is only one of me, ever to walk this planet, so as far as I am concerned as long as I am happy it is all that matters.
Much love, <3