Jan 12, 2009

these winter months are cold,

I shiver in my sleep, and wake with no rest at all.
I wish school disappeared, and sometimes I wish I did as well.
Overwhelmed by what ifs, and the past, just doesn't help my situation at all,
actually, it makes it ten times worse.

Awkward walk by's, and eye contact that I don't try to create, just happens.
Although, at least we get a sense that we both exist.

-I wish spring would come sooner, because than I would know summer would be just around the bend. My creativity has been dead. I want a new camera, but because I am quitting my job this week, that won't happen for a long time. I just wish I had my license already.
The school dance is coming up, and I am unsure If I want to go. Last year I had a pretty shitty time, I am wondering if I can find something better to do.
This weekend was too funny. Friday, I was with a bunch of people at all different times. Now, Saturday, that is a completely different story. Is there any much worse I can make a fool of myself? I need to know my limitations before I go to far. I suck. Sunday, was an absolutely bore. napped for a while, than Mom visited. It was a saddening time, and her emotions got the best of her. I wish she could get to what she wants, and reach out and just grab it. But, that is too hard.
Greg is here. Barely talk face to face with him. Losing contact day by day, all because of who knows what. Friends are friends, but they don't stay friends forever, now do they? Learning to build a tolerance for these sort of things. To go ahead and not let it get the best of me, because I know what I want to do and how I am going to do it. All I need to do is walk straight, chin up, and with a smile, knowing Everything is going to be fine.
I just think time goes by too fast to recognize what your doing with all these moments.

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