I'm already alone

Thinking back, thinking now, it was you all along..
Can't expand other then what I have already seen,
what I have already done

Wish I could be them, so I wouldn't have to sit alone
I think and think and this is the only thing I have come up with
How pathetic I am, to not be able to pursue what I want.

I am scared of rejection, I am scared of regret, but most of all
I am scared to be happy again.

Was that really it, was it the thing that made me happy?
Or did it make me feel worthless in the long run.

I just want everything back.
I want myself, my childhood, my old friends, my memories to grasp
I just want it all, why can't I reach out, and touch it with the tips of my fingers?

It seems too far away now, but It is too hard to let it all pass over.
Things don't die forever, something will always remain no matter what it may be