Oct 7, 2009


You put me in to a position I can hardly describe. You not only vent to me, but seem to want as much information and advice I can fill you with. You don't listen, you are trapped in your own cage. You aren't struggling, you choose to sit there in your depression safe where no one can bother you. Come on, save yourself, you can be free I keep telling you. You are weighed down, more and more keeps getting put on you. You keep convincing yourself you messed up, you did wrong. I want you to know you never did anything wrong. You are a great person in my life, it makes me feel scared to see you so vulnerable. You need Hope, I wish you could see. I don't pity you anymore, I don't give you sympathy, I want you to see for yourself what I see. Please, wake up and see the sky. See your family, see your friends, and see your life. Being like this will never have been worth it. You still have so much to live for, everyone cares. You want everyone to know you want the pity and the sorrow and the help, but the only person who can save you is yourself. What more do I need to do, every day is a repeated pattern, were running in circles. Please, fix yourself you are completely broken, both of them are completely broken.

Who do I have nowadays, who can I count on, who will be there. I know I have myself, I know I am okay, I worry though. Not to pity myself, but ultimately worry because I don't want to change. Everything is changing, I don't know what it will be like from 1-2-3 years from now. Where will you be, where will she be, where will I be.

I seem selfish, I am only worrying about me here. But take a look at this situation, what am I to do, what I am supposed to do when I am the inferior here.

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