Jan 26, 2010

the sixth day

and my head is in rapid convulsions from a disease known as Anger,
but I have the strength to get up and walk myself away from a knot that had been loosening the entire time it had been tied. And I can see now like the light of day that I can also forget a past because people change entirely and you forget the feelings you once had, and a friendship is so much better then fighting to get a chance.

But then again, no one wants to feel alone. So here I am, loosing friends, and loosing the only shot at love I thought I could get, and my dad doesn't trust me one bit, and my room is a mess, and my new Physics teacher puts me to sleep, and my life is a pitter-patter of alcohol and bad party pictures and black lungs.

What the fuck Sarah? Is this a realization right now? Is this You telling yourself you need a change? A good change?

I think SO. What the hell am I doing?

I run my mouth like no tomorrow and my friends don't trust me as I don't trust them and I am not confident and I am insecure and I feel like an Ugly girl and I feel worthless and I feel like my life is pointless again and again because That passion is lost and I am pathetic, Yes, I am That pathetic.

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