A Novel

Here I am on a Saturday night, first Saturday night of the summer in fact, sitting alone, alone here I am. I could be wishing a cute boy happy birthday in the city, I could be with a great group of people enjoying a fire, enjoying golf carts on a summer night. This is stupid.

My dad acts like he can control me. Has he not known that my life has already been corrupted? By making me stay home and chaining me down, this won't change who I am and the decisions I make. Its bullshit.

I never get to see my mom. She seems to have disappeared, its sad. I feel lonely, this is not a good start to summer. I want a love in my life, I want something new, I want to try something different. Same old faces, same old things, and here I am, alone.

This always seems to find me, thinking about the past, thinking about now and how everything sucks sometimes. Everything hits you so hard all at once. I am not crying tonight, I don't feel like crying, nor do I expect to cry.

I don't think I need to be home, I don't think I would make any wrong decisions if I were to have stayed out. Drinking and smoking, whats the big deal. Tell me? Please?

I want to fucking live Pops, don't you get it? I want to enjoy my fucking years as a teenager, I want to so bad. BUllSHit, I want to be on my own. I want to move away far far away from everyone. Everyone that I resent so badly for there lives.