COINfIdenC3?

Its just me here,
the house to myself,
the car to myself,
and the room,
all to myself.
Its just me here,
saying I'm alone,
and I'm okay,
and just checking in on you.
Its me, wondering if
I am going to find someone soon,
and hoping that I will.
Its me, finally figuring out the way it works,
and understanding what I need to do,
and how to make things happen.
Its just me,
living day to day,
creating an impact.

love you,
sarah

A REVIEW OF THE DAY: THOUGHTS pt deux

The end of all ends, tieing the loose ends, the end of the maze, you found your way out of the labyrinth, the noose was loose, you fell flat on your caboose, than you got up, and passed the exit sign on the way out, passing through the door with the light shining through the glass window, and peering out you saw it brand new, shiny and gold and silver, and you wanted to look back, but you kept yourself from it and started over because now was better then ever before

its selfish, but being selfish in a hopeless situation is selfless if you ask me, because your saving each other, from each other...

****
Naw, naw, naw, maybe we can start to make promises

A REVIEW OF THE DAY: THOUGHTS

The (Human) is so very hypocritical....

"I won't ever turn out like my father/mother"
You will..

"I am quitting smoking/drinking/drugs"
You won't..

"I am done thinking of him/her"
You will..

"I am not going to be their friend"
You are..

So tell me a truth, instead of the lies I hear every single day. We are all the same.
We all want things to happen but we never accomplish them.
I swear to Myself, that I need to make things happen, and I'm hoping to someday, that I'm not going to rot my life away with hate and animosity, but its not going to be a promise.

I can't lie to myself.

Dreeeeeam Thoughts

A dream.
A man was throwing knives at me.
Hundreds were there to support me.
An old friend made an appearance, told me I was a goof, and to call him.
It was snowing, possibly raining?
It makes no sense to me.
They never do.



I just wonder if dreams tell the future.

the wavee~~~~~~~~

The wave of youth passes over me, and I stand in a room filled with people older than myself.

I have a fear of what comes next, and what is in store for me. All I really do is enjoy my time now, that's all you really should do, just be happy.

I feel so at ease right about now because I'm less of a stranger to myself, because I know my limit, and I know there is no rush right now. Just a bond of singers and dancers and dreamers in one room together with the stench of alcohol almost like it's pouring through the sound waves that are emitting from the mic. It's a sense of unity, it's a sense of originality, and everyone is a different person, everyone has a different story.

Now, my story I know all too well, day after day do I remember my story and grow tired and sick trying to remember things and play them in my head over and over again. I think it's time to say I am truly ready to meet someone with their own story, someone I could listen to, someone that can give me inspiration, and someone I can trust/confide in..

Like I said, I'm in no rush, because it will all come together as my life unfolds.

head pounding

winter makes me more creative, at least this winter does.
I'm working on a project, and it is just the beginning of many,
There is so much more then photography to be dealt with.

I like where this all is going,
and I know I can do it,
I just need some Tylenol along the way.

showerthoughts

We sat in his car, with the snow coming down, and the wipers were washing it all away. We stopped on the side of the road and then he turned to me, holding onto my hand,
"I don't want to go home, I'm scared."

My spine shivered and I looked out the window. Perched on a branch was an owl, silent and still just like this night itself. I didn't know what to do or where I needed to be, all I knew was now.
"Then don't. Don't go home."

I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE,

FUCK OFF
YOUR TWO-FACED,
YOU HURT ME,
YOUR IN LOVE,
YOUR AFRAID,
YOUR A LIAR,
YOUR A CHEATER,
YOUR A FAKE,
YOU'RE STINGY,
YOU ARE A BITCH,
YOU ARE ANNOYING,
YOU ARE IMMATURE,
YOU ARE COCKY,
YOU ARE CONCEITED,
YOU ARE SELFISH,
YOU ARE AWKWARD,
YOU ARE UGLY,
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL,
YOU ARE PERFECT,
YOU ARE CLOSED,
YOU ARE WITHDRAWN,
YOU ARE LOUD,
YOU ARE INTELLIGENT,
YOU ARE LOST

********************

And I wondered laying on my cover, how is it that I have come to be this way completely apathetic and unemotional, feeling this constant numbness in my heart from something so long ago, something I am so attached too. And I remembered all the while that there was a period of time without the numbness, but only a little tingle, because it was put somewhere far, far away, but now it has resurfaced since June only because I let myself do so. Only because I wanted to feel helpless and desertion and I wanted to feel that way I used to feel,

the thing is,
you can never get your past back.
So Why, why do I keep trying to get it back, its a question I ask myself everyday looking for a lost face, and its a question that I need to put on hold, and store away forever.
I can't keep doing this to myself, it is killing me, because No one cares, no one sees the way I see, and no one will want to.

It's a clutter of feelings and facts and memories, no one would want to hear.
But, the thing is, it is what is making me feel Distant, and it is what is making me never want to stop writing because it makes me sane, and it makes me happy knowing I can rely on myself, and trust myself, because tonight I heard someone say,

"You can't even trust yourself.'

And that is a lie, because when you have lost trust in yourself, what is even the point in living anymore?

Basically, the only person I can trust is Me, because you need to have strength in yourself, and you need to be a fucking soldier to survive, and you need it all or you will be a dead man walking.

And theres a million things in my mind right now
and you won't read this,
and this song is making me feel a certain way,
and I'm not going to do my homework,
and I'm going to write on some loose leaf,
and I'm going to pass out,
and then I'm going to sleep,
and dream bad dreams,
and it will all be repeated tomorrow.

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this is a stupid layout on my blog, I hate it, I can't ever get one I really enjoy looking at...

I rearranged my room, and cleaned it, it felt good.
I have been in a weird mood all day, maybe it was from lack of sleep or whatever all happened last night.
My throat hurts, and My mind doesn't know what it wants...

I don't know if I should quit/or keep going
I don't know why I keep having these bad dreams
I don't know why I sometimes smile and other times turn the other way....

I don't know, I just don't.

b.l.n.k.--

just a bunch of broken glass, ready to be buried underneath the dirt.
It's just that simple.